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This is Stupid.

I believe we don't tell others how stupid we think they are often enough. We have no problem telling them they are wrong, rude, mean or ridiculous but with idiocy, we hold back. And I'm not sure why. I seriously wish people told me when I was being stupid, because they ARE thinking it and they are telling OTHERS about it. Why not to myself?

Do we think idiocy is out of people's control? Do we hold back the same way we don't blame people for their birthplace, height or size of their nose? Because it's not. Saying stupid things is a choice not an unfortunate genetic sequence. For example, when I've had a terrible sore throat and a runny nose and someone tells me "Take a Cold & Flu, it will PREVENT it, or You will wake up fine, or Have more mulled wine..." I need to be able to say "That is factually wrong & total nonsense". 

I told No. 21 the other day she was rude and she said "I've reached an age when I can be rude if I feel it's right." and I salute to that. I too have reached an age when I can call out stupidity when it's right. Because at this age you need to make sense. Being cute won't cut it.

I just came back from one of the worst trips of my life. I've been working 14-hour days at least once a week. I mixed work and holiday. I over committed and pretended I was keen. I climbed down a rabbit hole with the rotten rope of someone I should not have trusted. I trusted people, full stop. I pushed the stress levels beyond my body's tolerance and the minute the stress level went down, the minute everyone got home safe and all the assignments were completed, my body shut down. 

And as I was lying in my $300 a night holiday resort bed, nauseous and unable to swallow or breathe, preparing my speech for the Golden Globe nomination for the most delusional employee of the year, I looked at my latest paycheck: My big ass pay rise effective 1 May came down to a whopping $260 a month. There! I almost killed myself for the least rewarding job in history. 

So I'm writing here to myself: I've been stupid. Stupid for ever expecting work to mean anything more than a means to an end. For not having an "end" in the first place. Every extra minute I spend on this job trying to "outperform myself" is even a higher level of stupidity. Because I don't like this show. 

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